The FCC Song

"The FCC Song" is a song from the season four episode "PTV" of the animated television series Family Guy. It features Peter, Brian, and Stewie Griffin mocking the FCC for their gratuitous censorship.

The song was performed by series creator Seth MacFarlane in all three roles.

Lyrics
Original = [Oh yeah, I know all about the FCC!]

They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss

It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups. Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops! Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!

Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin' With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling, 'Cause you can't say penis!

So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst, And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced. I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!

They may just be neurotic or possibly psychotic They're the fellas at the freakin' FCC! [You know, Brian, we are privileged to live in this particular age of television programming.]
 * -| You Can Find it on TV =

[Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all television these days is complete trash.]

[Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of trash.]

[Yeah, I guess you're right.]

[Of course I'm right! For example...]

You've got mega hits like Idol where Sanjaya took his bow Just a little boy from India who made us all say wow With a voice that makes you wanna just go out and kill a cow

Here's the plain situation A simple declaration If you want it you can find it on TV

You've got Scrubs on NBC in season seven-and-a-half With the antics of the lovable and talented Zack Braff Who reminds us that a sitcom doesn't have to make you laugh

You can try to deny it But we can certify it If you want it you can find it on TV

And if you start to crave a brand new TV thrill They're always brewing up some brand new primetime swill Like the GEICO Caveman

CBS was once a network that was reverent and clean But today they've got some shows that are remarkably obscene Like the show about the little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen

Oh, there ain't nothing to it You click it on and view it If you want it you can find it on TV

[You know, I think I'm gettin' the idea, Stewie.]

[Ahh? You see?]

[Absolutely! Hey, how 'bout this!]

ABC has got a lineup that's refreshing and alive With its hits like Desperate Housewives just continuing to thrive And those women look sensational for being sixty-five!

No we won't over-sell ya We merely wanna tell ya If you want it you can find it on TV

Now, the Peacock's having trouble simply staying in the race So I hear they're bringing Seinfeld back to save a little face And I hear Isaiah Washington is taking Kramer's place?

Oh, you may not adore it But boy you can't ignore it If you want it you can find it on TV

Now The Sopranos is a show I'd recommend Because you never know just how it's gonna...

So to sum up the philosophy on which we're both agreed All the garbage on the airwaves is a vital thing indeed Cause without it then Americans would have to learn to read

And so up with the curtain It's absolutely certain If you want it you can find it on TV

Other Appearances

 * The song was released as a single.
 * Stewie and Brian performed a parody of the song called "You Can Find It on TV" at the opening of the 2007 gala of the 59th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards.