File:Stewie & Brian perform at Emmys '07

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Lyrics

Brian and Stewie from "Family Guy" performing the opening number for the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards and poking fun at the "wide selection of trash" on television.

"You've got mega hits like 'Idol' where Sanjaya took his bow Just a little boy from India who made us all say 'wow' With a voice that makes you wanna just go out and kill a cow

Here's the plain situation A simple declaration If you want it you can find it on T.V.

You've got 'Scrubs' on NBC in season seven and a half With the antics of the loveable and talented Zach Braff Who reminds us that a sitcom doesn't have to make you laugh

You can try to deny it But we can certify it If you want it you can find it on T.V.

And if you start to crave a brand new T.V. thrill They're always brewing up some brand new primetime swill Like the GEICO 'Cavemen'

CBS was once a network that was reverent and clean But today they've got some shows that are remarkably obscene Like the show about a little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen

Oh, there aint nothing to it You click it on and view it If you want it you can find it on T.V.

ABC has got a line-up that's refreshing and alive With its hits like 'Desperate Housewives' just continuing to thrive And those women look sensational for being sixty-five

No we won't oversell ya We merely wanna tell ya If you want it you can find it on T.V.

Now the peacock's having trouble simply staying in the race So I hear they're bringing 'Seinfield' back to save a little face And I hear Isaiah Washington is taking Kramers place

Oh, you may not adore it But, boy, you can't ignore it If you want it you can find it on T.V.

Now the 'Sopranos' is a show I'd recommend Because you never know just how it's gonna-

So to sum up the philosophy on which we're both agreed All the garbage on the airwaves is a vital thing indeed 'Cause without it then Americans would have to learn to read

And so up with the curtain It's absolutely certain If you want it you can find it on T.V."